The Three Types of Love

Love, by definition, is the appreciation of another person as beautiful, worthy of being loved, useful, intriguing, creative, etc. If you love someone, you have feelings for them that transcend your own self-worth, although you can choose to see their imperfections and mistakes without accepting them as something other than what they are. In essence, love is a conscious effort to see past your own perceived flaws and qualities in others and instead focus on the qualities that a person is good at, that they enjoy being around, and that make them uniquely themselves.


The first step towards establishing this kind of affection is to identify the form love typically takes in your relationship with another person. This involves identifying the form love usually takes, such as romantic love, family love, sexual love, friend love, or religious or spiritual love. By determining which type of love you primarily take on in your relationships, you will begin to understand how you can begin to love someone and allow yourself to experience more intense and meaningful romantic love for them.

In romantic love, for instance, most people fall into one of several forms of affection. There is the “spark” of lust, which is described as a fleeting form of affection – one that quickly fades as the focus changes to another person or becomes unimportant to them. People in this form of affection experience positive emotions, but little else – as they lose interest in the original person as quickly as they lost interest in themselves.

The next form of affection is the “stay” or “hold” form of love. In this type of love, people remain lovers or stay in relationships with one another so long as the other person stays true to their word. In fact, people who remain together in this way often say yes to one another because they are afraid of being hurt by their partner if they say no. Those in relationships with this mindset believe that true love comes from commitment and staying by one’s side through thick and thin.

Then, we come to another type of love – the ” unconditional love ” of which most people are unfamiliar. This type of love involves being able to share a bond without expecting anything in return, while also being able to share bonds with another person without the desire to leave each other. People in this type of love share true feelings for one another and are not afraid to experience pain in the process. However, they also have great faith that the pain they are experiencing is simply part of the journey of loving.

In all three types of love, those in committed relationships experience a great inner peace as their relationship progresses. They truly don’t know whether they love someone or not, and they trust the answer is yes. In a world where falling out of love is common, this is an admirable quality. Relationships that move beyond a simple friendship to love are filled with happiness, peace and fulfillment. These are all things that long-term lovers strive for every day.