The Good and Bad Side of a Crush

Whether it’s the boy in your chemistry class or the girl who lives next door, a crush can be a sweet, hopeful thing. A crush is an intensely felt, unrequited attraction for someone who makes you want to swoon and dream. It’s the person whose picture you can’t stop looking at, who keeps you awake at night thinking of, and who is your world when they are around. A crush is an emotion that can evoke a multitude of responses: the pit in your stomach, butterflies in your stomach, and even a little bit of fear. These feelings are not necessarily bad, but they can be hard to control and have a major impact on your life.

It’s also important to remember that not all crushes are created equal. A crush isn’t always healthy or fair to its object, especially for people in committed relationships. In fact, many crushes can be destructive and lead to relationship instability, most often via infidelity.

However, a crush is not inherently unhealthy or unequal for its target, especially if it’s a close friend. In fact, a well-managed crush can serve a purpose entirely separate from romantic pursuits and may help you grow closer to your partner or better understand them. A recent study found that a large percentage of people in monogamous relationships reported having at least one unrequited crush. The majority of those were friends or coworkers, and almost half were women. Most of the participants in this study reported that their crushes were not destructive to their primary relationships. This was likely due to the fact that they only had crushes on people they knew, and that their feelings were based on genuine affection.

In addition to promoting intimacy in their primary relationships, the participants of this study used their crushes as an opportunity to learn more about their friends and colleagues. They were able to develop deeper insights into their personality, habits, and preferences and learned valuable information about their workplaces and industry. Some participants also noted that their crushes helped them to become more empathetic and understanding of other people, which could be beneficial in future professional interactions.

The study’s open-ended questions asked participants to report both positive and negative outcomes of their crushes. Those who had negative outcomes most frequently cited moral concerns that their crush was somehow a threat or violation of their commitment to their primary partners, and feared that their crush would cause them to lose trust or incite jealousy. Other negative outcomes included feelings of awkwardness, frustration, and nuisance.

Though Crush doesn’t do much to subvert its rom com tropes, its young cast, sunny cinematography, and queer WOC representation make it a pleasant watch. Ultimately, this is a film that’s made for the high school crowd and serves as reassurance that Disney is still willing to portray nominal representation even if they’re going back and forth on anti-LGBTQ legislation. Stream it on Hulu.