Love is Not Just a Feeling

“Love is never lost. It’s a way of life.” This quote from Mary Meyer is true love. True love is an enduring and strong intense affection between lovers or spouses that are in a mutually satisfying and happy relationship. An ideal example of true love would be the unbreakable emotional bond shared between a married couple who have been together for 40 years and who still are passionate and concerned for each other and still care deeply for each other’s happiness and well being. True love does not just magically disappear or change, when one partner decides to remarry.


The most common response people give when they find out the unlovable person whom they had been in a relationship with has been another person, is to become angry. However, in order to build a relationship that will stand the test of time, regardless of who you are with or what happens, you need to start with yourself. You have to understand that you are the only one responsible for the positive emotions that result from your interactions with another person. If you choose to remain angry at your former partner, this will only cause you problems in your future relationships. It will also cause you great emotional pain and stress.

True love starts with you and ends with you. It is your choice whether you allow it to remain just a fantasy in your mind or you make the conscious decision to stop letting it control your actions and thoughts. When we live in unhealthy relationships, we often lose sight of what our real priorities are. We can fall into the rut of sharing a relationship based on attraction and passion, without being aware of how much that sharing has taken a toll on us individually and collectively as a couple. The intimacy we experience with someone else quickly turns into intimacy with our partner, which may then become intimacy with our family, friends, colleagues and others.

Once a couple becomes too comfortable with each other, the intimacy that was once present in their relationship is lost. It seems like love has faded from both parties, and in its place is resentment, anger, anxiety and insecurity. These behaviors often come about because people continue to share a bond based on attraction and passion. They miss out on the joy of being in a deep relationship with someone whom they deeply care about. Once you make the conscious decision to shift your focus away from the person you are currently involved with, you will find that you begin to experience all of the amazing benefits that true love has to offer.

It is important to realize that there is no magic formula for romance. Attraction is not the recipe for love, and neither is chemistry, compatibility or chemistry in general. What really does bring people together emotionally is feelings and emotions. It is those feelings and emotions that are the building block for a fulfilling romantic love relationship.

The good news is that you can choose to enjoy the feelings and emotions that are present in any relationship, or you can choose to let them go. If you choose to remain in a relationship based purely on attraction, you will always have a sense of disappointment and anxiety, which will affect your relationships in negative ways. If you choose to embrace the feelings of closeness and romance in your romantic relationships, you will find that they grow and flourish.