You love someone because you believe I’m the only real person out there who could give you true love. You recognize all the little defects, blind spots, weaknesses, and flaws, but real love never excuses, doubts, or regrets. It simply loves you for who you are. Love is accepting of all the small and unnoticeable things in life that just happen. It doesn’t demand perfection out of you or demand that you act a certain way.
When we talk about romantic love most often it’s used in the context of romantic love between people of the same sex. We might say all men are not interested in women, or all women are not interested in men. It’s easy to understand why those kind of thoughts and opinions are limiting. However, we must always remember that love is love no matter who is involved. One’s sexual orientation or gender identity does not matter.
In fact, according to a fascinating study done by two leading researchers in the field of neuroscience, people of the same sex actually tend to use similar parts of their brain. That means we may have some similarities in brain areas responsible for romantic behavior, but we also have very different brains. So don’t worry if you fall into the “all males are not interested in women” category or “all females are not interested in males” category. It doesn’t make you wrong or lose love.
But what about if you’re “in the thick of it” category. What if you’ve been hurt before and you are now fearful to even speak to another person about it? That’s totally understandable. That’s why therapy is so important when it comes to getting over traumatic events like that.
Just because we feel a strong desire to love someone doesn’t mean they feel the same way about us. Love at first sight doesn’t work in the case of people we are attracted to. We also have to put ourselves in the shoes of the one we are trying to love. We have to imagine how they would react if they found themselves falling in love with someone else. We need to truly listen to them, ask them everything they might have to say, and do our best to understand where they are coming from.
When we are in love, we might feel butterflies in our stomach and be edgy or excited all over. There is nothing wrong with being this way. Our bodies language says that we love but if we don’t express this with our words, it might be harder to find love in our life.