Crush has many meanings, from the literal—breaking something down into small pieces or crumpling it—to figurative, like when someone crushes an insurgent uprising. The word is also used to describe infatuation, as in “I have a crush on my new neighbor.” Whether it’s your BFF, coworker, or the cute guy you see while out running, having a crush is normal and a natural part of life. Often, these feelings will pass—but sometimes they can last a while or even cause you to break your current relationships or friendships.
When a crush hits, it’s not uncommon to experience a range of emotions from denial and acceptance to obsession. While everyone’s reaction is different, most people go through a similar cycle. The first stage is usually denial—you notice that you are thinking of this person a lot and try to convince yourself that they’re just a friend and nothing more. This is usually followed by the second stage, which involves accepting that you have feelings for this person and slowly beginning to show them some attention, like mentioning them in conversations or making eye contact.
The third and final stage is obsession, which can lead to the breakdown of your existing relationships or even your self-esteem. This can happen when your crush is the only person you want to talk to, text, or hang out with. It can also lead to putting yourself in dangerous situations or sacrificing your own needs for the sake of your crush. This can lead to feelings of resentment, guilt, and shame.
Research has shown that crushing is common among young adults, and it can be a part of healthy romantic and sexual development. It can teach you how to manage your feelings of attraction and provide practice for future relationships. Crushing may also help you learn how to take risks in a relationship and test out your boundaries. It can also help you develop a sense of self-esteem and confidence, as well as increase your social skills.
In one study, a crush was defined as “a secret intense infatuation with someone you find attractive and special with whom you have low or no chance at all of being a couple.” The participants were asked to describe the positive and negative outcomes of their crushes. Most of the participants’ negative outcomes centered on moral concerns that their crush represented some kind of betrayal or unfaithfulness to their primary partners, such as risking the trust of their friends and family or causing jealousy.
Despite the positives of this Hulu original, it doesn’t have the same feel as some of the best rom-coms of all time. It lacks a dose of youthful mischief or a light-hearted sense of danger, both integral to these kinds of films. But its talented cast and smart script make up for that deficit in many ways, making Crush a worthwhile watch.