Love is a cherished topic for philosophers, poets and writers but is also an essential concept in psychology. Love is a complex mix of emotions, behaviors and beliefs that includes feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth and respect for another person or animal and for cherished ideas and principles. Some even use the word to describe a spiritual connection with God. Love isn’t always easy and can vary from person to person, as well as from culture to culture.
The earliest explorations into love’s nature were met with considerable criticism. Freud’s comments that “people in love are crazy” triggered a backlash that lasted for 75 years and discouraged many psychologists from studying this important phenomenon. Nevertheless, research into love continues to grow. In the last few decades, psychologists have started to distinguish between types of love such as romantic and companionate.
Scientists have found that love may have some health benefits, including lowering stress levels and blood pressure. It has also been shown to increase one’s sense of wellbeing, and help them feel good about themselves. Studies have shown that those who spend time with their loved ones are more likely to live longer than those who don’t. This is often referred to as the Blue Zone effect, with people living longest in communities where they have strong connections with their friends and family.
In the early stages of falling in love, a chemical called adrenaline floods the body. This along with a jumble of other hormones like dopamine and norepinephrine can make your cheeks flush and palms sweaty, and create that intoxicating feeling that makes you want to run into the arms of the person you love. Then comes the attachment stage where the adrenaline is replaced with oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. This can lead to feelings of closeness, trust and security, as well as a desire for sex.
Once you have bonded with someone, your brain’s reward centers become activated and the release of these chemicals leads to the obsessive, crazy love that can cause us to do some pretty silly things (like embarrassing ourselves at a party to impress our new partner). In fact, parts of the brain responsible for detecting danger and making decisions go into hibernation during this phase. This can lead to some serious pitfalls, such as blindly following the advice of an over-bearing parent or doing something that puts your life in danger.
When in the throes of this kind of intense love, the brain’s oxytocin receptors increase, and it has been suggested that those who have more of these receptors are more likely to form long-term pair bonds. Scientists have also found that people in long-term, stable relationships can be as madly in love as those who are in intense new romances.
Regardless of how you define love, it is important to be open to giving and receiving it. Loving others can be as simple as showing appreciation, making time for them and listening to what they have to say. The key is to be honest and not let your ego get in the way.