Throughout history, philosophers and poets have tackled the elusive question of what love really is. And despite being a topic of much debate, researchers can now give us some insight into what happens inside the brain when you fall in love. It turns out that when you love someone, key areas of your brain light up with dopamine and the feel-good hormone oxytocin. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll always be feeling mushy-gushy and overly sentimental. In fact, there will probably be days or even weeks when you don’t feel all that in love with your partner. And that’s totally okay.
Regardless of your relationship status, everyone feels a tinge of longing for love at some point in their lives. It could be a desire for companionship or the sense of closeness that comes from being with “the one.” For some, it might be the feeling that you’re home, safe and understood by your partner. And for others, it might be the feeling of transcendence that comes from a spiritual or religious connection with another person.
Whatever the case, a strong desire for love is part of what makes humans so interesting. In the past, philosophers and psychologists have categorized love into various elements and emotions. However, a common view is that love involves lust, attraction, and attachment. While many people define love as an emotion, some scientists have argued that it’s not a primary one. Instead, they say that it’s a complex sensation derived from other feelings like empathy and attachment.
What’s more, some experts have found that our ideas of what constitutes love change over time. Some people may have more polarized views on the matter than others, based on how they were raised or their own experiences. Nevertheless, there is a general consensus that the human experience of love can be quite complicated and varied.
While the precise causes of love may differ from person to person, all humans need to feel closeness and emotional fulfilment in order to thrive. So how do we navigate the difficult dance between desire, vulnerability, and companionship? We’re going to take a look at some of the most influential theories on what love is and how it works.
Infatuation
This type of love is characterized by intense physical and emotional attractions, a need for sex, a quick development of romantic feelings, and a lack of commitment. It’s also often accompanied by jealousy and insecurity.
Storge
This is a mature form of love that emphasizes shared interests, affection and security. It’s also less narcissistic and focused on self-fulfillment than infatuation. People in storge love tend to be more satisfied with their relationships and are more likely to commit to them.
Bhakti
This type of love is rooted in devotion to the divine. It can be seen in the Hindu texts Bhagavad Purana and works by Tulsidas. In the past, scholars have described it as a combination of kama and prema: “loving devotion to God” and “elevated love.” This kind of love is also known as bhakti.