The term crush is thrown around casually in everyday conversations, but the sentiment behind it goes far beyond just thinking of someone. A crush is a parasocial relationship with someone that’s typically unilateral, unreciprocated and not communicated to your target, according to evolutionary psychology research.
One encapsulating lay definition of crush describes it as “a secret desire to be with someone special who is not your partner with low or no chances of being a couple” (urban dictionary). Aside from the obvious butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling, having a crush causes physical reactions in the body, such as an elevated heart rate and dilated pupils. It can also trigger the fight-or-flight response, which leads to an increase in adrenaline and cortisol, a hormone that can trigger your body’s stress response.
When a person has a crush, they usually see their target through rose-colored glasses. They may fantasize about an idealized version of the person, such as the way they would look or talk or the things that make them unique. People often have crushes on their friends, family members and coworkers, but they can also have a crush on someone they don’t know. They might even have a crush on someone famous, like an athlete or celebrity.
Once a person starts crushing on someone, the feelings become inconvenient, because they interfere with daily tasks. For example, a person might feel an urge to dress differently or start spending more time on their appearance, and they might not be able to stop thinking about that person. These thoughts can become obsessive and lead to self-loathing, which is why it’s important to talk with a trusted friend about how you’re feeling.
Crush also affects social interaction, and people can become tongue-tied when their crush is around. They might be tempted to say too much or try to impress their crush, which can end up backfiring. “It can actually make them less attractive, because the more they talk, the less believable it is,” Kolawole says. “Crushing can really ruin a social life.”
The movie, which stars an inclusive cast of teens including Addie Weyrich as Paige and Katelyn Tarver as King Pun, is delightfully charming, but the movie feels a little too cliche and formulaic for teen cinema. The film could have benefited from deeper exploration of its main character’s artistic growth, for example. But the script settles for the stereotypical “wisecracking dyke” trope, leaving the movie lacking a strong identity as something other than a trite teen flick.