When you have a crush on someone, it’s normal to feel the excitement and anticipation of a potential relationship. But it can also be hard to deal with if your feelings go unrequited. Whether it’s a mini or huge, mutual or one-sided, crushes can teach us a lot about ourselves and how we want to be loved.
The OED cites several different definitions of crush, including “a secret longing for a person with whom there is little or no chance of ever becoming a couple” and “a state of intense romantic yearning that can be either infatuation or obsessiveness.” But the most common description of a crush is simply the way you feel about someone you see or talk to — it’s a form of affection, not love, but you’re so smitten that you can’t stop thinking about them and want to be near them.
A crush is a specific type of infatuation, according to researchers, and it can affect both men and women. But it’s more common in teens than adults, and it tends to be more frequent among girls than boys (though both genders experience crushes at the same rate). The attraction is usually mutual or one-sided, and it can last for as long as a few weeks, or as short as a day. Some people might even have multiple crushes at once.
There’s nothing wrong with having a crush, especially in adolescence. In fact, it’s an important part of learning about intimacy and preparing for future relationships. But it’s crucial to understand the difference between a crush and being in love. If you’re in a relationship, a crush may lead to infidelity, but it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. In fact, it could actually be beneficial for your relationship if you learn from the crush’s lessons.
In a recent study, researchers found that crushes are often fleeting and unfulfilling. They can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction in a relationship, and they can lead to unhealthy behaviors like jealousy. In addition, crushes can make people more likely to commit to a new romantic partner or relapse into an old one (Hearn & Sanders, 2001).
Having a crush is normal and even healthy, but it’s important to recognize the differences between a crush and a love interest. If you have a crush, it’s best to take it slow and let the feelings ebb before acting on them. In the meantime, you might want to keep some of these tips in mind: