A crush:
Whether it’s the boy from chemistry class or the girl who sits across from you in pre-calculus, when you have a crush, your world literally revolves around this one person. Every thought, word, and action they do or say affects you in some way. Seeing them in the hallway or on campus sends your heart racing, and you can’t help but daydream about spending time with them.
While we often associate crushes with raging teenage hormones, they can strike at any age. They can also happen when you’re in a committed relationship, or even when you’re just friends. In fact, a recent study found that crushes are common among married and committed people.
But what exactly does it mean to have a crush? According to the dictionary, a crush is an overwhelming feeling of infatuation. It’s a fluttery type of love that can make you feel butterflies in your stomach or lead to obsessive behavior, like stalking your crush on social media. It’s a desire to be with the person who makes your heart race, but it has low or no chance of becoming a romantic relationship.
In a study conducted by researchers at the University of North Carolina, participants reported having crushes on people they knew and could interact with, rather than fantasy crushes such as celebrities. They answered open-ended questions about the nature of their crush, including whether they expected it to lead to increased intimacy and how it fit in with their current relationships or jobs (if applicable).
The results showed that the majority of respondents were not expecting their crushes to become intimate, and many expressed that they wanted to maintain a friendship with them. They also shared that they sometimes fantasized about sexual or romantic involvement, but only in private. This finding is consistent with other research that shows that crushing can be a positive experience for people, regardless of their relationship status or workplace situation.
For Hannah, 28, a New York City beauty editor, that meant dedicating herself to her crush, even going so far as to do the full Times crossword daily. Danielle, 32, an LA-based magazine editor, got to know hers through their shared interest in Italian heritage and ended up taking language courses together. The result: an intimate bond formed over the gushy feelings that continue to wash over them whenever they’re apart.
Whether your crush is a romantic partner, coworker, or BFF, it’s important to take things slowly. This not only reduces your chances of getting hurt, but it gives you the time to get to know them for who they really are—not the person you think they’re supposed to be. So take it easy on your crush, and try to have fun with them instead of treating them like a project or something to be conquered. It’ll be better for both of you in the long run.