A crush is the kind of intense, unrequited attraction you might feel for a friend or co-worker. A common misconception is that crushes must lead to a romantic relationship, but that’s not necessarily the case. A crush can also simply serve as a source of enjoyment, like when you look at pictures of them on Instagram or think about their perfect smile. Regardless of whether they’re the object of your affection, it’s important to make sure you aren’t using them as an emotional crutch, and that you’re not letting a crush distract you from pursuing other aspects of your life.
The most common reason people have a crush is because they are attracted to the person’s personality, looks, or intelligence. For example, you might admire a friend’s sense of humor or love their taste in music. Other people have crushes on celebrities or public figures because they inspire them in some way, such as a political figure’s advocacy for an issue they care about or a musician’s talent in creating their craft.
When you have a crush, your brain triggers mood-boosting hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, and you might start thinking about them all the time, even when they’re not in front of you. This is why you might find yourself stalking their social media to see what they’re up to or planning ways you could run into them at work or school.
Depending on how well you know your crush, you might be able to initiate the conversation about your feelings. If you’re comfortable enough, try flirting with them or asking them out for a coffee date. However, be careful not to overdo it, as you may come across as creepy or desperate. Besides, you should always consider any current partnerships (if you have any) and how your crush might affect them before you act on your feelings.
If you’re in a committed relationship, crushing on someone else can appear a bit adolescent and even a little bit creepy, especially when it’s unrequited. Participants in our study who identified as monogamous overwhelmingly reported that they did not want to pursue their crushes intimately, instead preferring to maintain friendly or flirtatious relationships with them and occasionally fantasize about them in private. They also expressed concerns that doing so might jeopardize their primary relationships or cause them to be dishonest with them in some way.
As the third installment in Berrybrook Middle School creator Svetlana Chmakova’s AWKWARD and BRAVE series, Crush does an admirable job of capturing those awkward growing pains of middle school. It also features a stellar cast that includes Rowan Blanchard as Paige, an artist with a crush on her track teammate who decides to be more proactive about her social connections. And although the film does not shy away from its more sexy moments, it isn’t afraid to inject some humor into its teen drama.