When you’re crushing on someone, you can’t help but fantasize about them in your head. You want to see them, talk to them, and spend time with them. Whether they’re your classmate, co-worker, or even a celebrity, having a crush can make you feel like the luckiest person alive. Having a crush can be amazing and agonizing at the same time, especially when it goes unrequited. Luckily, crushes can teach you a lot about yourself and help you grow.
Crushes are often thought of as a form of play flighting, a process by which juvenile animals attempt to acquire social skills without actually engaging in mating behavior with their preferred partners. Although this term is often used to describe romantic attraction, researchers have found that not all people experience crushes as a romantic pursuit and that there are multiple dimensions of this phenomenon.
The term “crushes” refers to feelings of unrequited love or romantic desire, but it also applies to other kinds of attractions, including platonic friendships. Many studies have found that crushes are common, particularly for adolescents and young adults. An older two-year longitudinal study found that 93% of participants reported having at least one crush, and on average, these crushes lasted about nine weeks.
Most people have a variety of responses to having a crush, and the emotions they feel can vary wildly from day to day. Some people are content to maintain friendly or flirtatious interactions with their crush, while others become obsessed and start to fantasize about sexual or romantic involvement with them. Still, others are happy to simply be friends and not seek any increased intimacy.
In open-ended interviews, many participants indicated that they did not expect their crushes to develop intimately and viewed them as more of a friend than a lover. Many people were also in committed relationships, so they did not want any increased intimacy. They were instead content to continue their friendly or flirtatious interactions with their crush and only wished that they could be a little more obvious about it (e.g., “I wish I could text or call my crush and say something more than ‘hey’”).
The song “Crush Culture” by Conan Gray has garnered millions of streams and resonated with listeners worldwide. It explores the pressures and expectations placed on individuals in modern dating culture, especially those under the age of 25. However, despite this song’s popularity and the many issues it raises, there is one key point that listeners must remember: crushes are meant to be enjoyed for what they are—an enjoyable experience.