Stuck is a feeling you get when your progress toward the things you want in life has stalled. Whether it’s a career you hate, an unhealthy relationship, not being able to finish your novel or learn another language or turning your hobby into a business, the feeling of being stuck is all too familiar. Fortunately, there are ways to get unstuck and reclaim your happiness.
First, it’s important to understand that feeling stuck is a mental experience, not a physical one. It’s a feeling of utter disempowerment and immobility. It’s when you know you can’t move forward but are powerless to do so. Often, it manifests in a sense of helplessness, claustrophobia or a feeling that you’re in a rut.
The antidote to feeling stuck is changing your mindset, which means breaking negative patterns of thought and embracing more positive ones. It’s also about re-focusing your attention on what you can control, which may mean journaling about your goals or spending time visualising how you want your life to look like two years from now. This creates a compelling future vision that generates energy and excitement, which can help you break through the negative feelings of being stuck.
It’s also about being honest with yourself. Do you tend to engage in catastrophising – thinking the worst will happen? Or are you overly harsh with yourself, using the word “should” a lot? These types of thoughts can lead to excessive worrying, low self-esteem and deplete your confidence. Instead, try rephrasing these negative thoughts as “want to” or “will do.” This can help you shift from being stuck to taking action.
Lastly, it’s about reconnecting with your purpose. Often, we become stuck because we’re living the dreams of someone else or we’re chasing money or status or approval. It’s about identifying what you truly want and making a commitment to live that way, which will give you the courage and confidence to push through your stuck feelings.
Robinson: You talk in your book about people getting stuck in the middle of things, not at the beginning or end. Why do you think that’s the case?
Frank: That’s because we have a tendency to start with insight, but that’s not enough to move from stuck to go. It’s like asking why a building is on fire before you put it out. If you want to move from stuck to go, you need to shift from wondering why to naming three choices (or micro-yes’s) available right now and picking one.
I hope you find these tips helpful. It’s not easy to overcome a sense of being stuck, but it’s so worth the effort. If you need more support, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I would love to support you in your journey to finding more joy and happiness in your life.