There are many definitions of love. For most individuals it is a group of behaviors and emotions characterized by emotional intimacy, romance, devotion, and emotional commitment. It typically involves caring, intimacy, dedication, trust, attraction, affection, and happiness. Love is often associated with an array of pleasant emotions, such as joy, happiness, excitement, health, and life satisfaction, but it also can…
An increasing amount of psychologists and sociologists suggest that romantic love results from the projection of feelings and emotions that we feel towards another person onto our own self. According to this view, we have a need to define love because of the need to define ourselves. We want to feel loved rather than simply being desired.
Generally speaking, one definition of love is “the feeling that you give and receive.” Yet, there are many other ways to identify and experience love, depending on the relationship and the individual. Some people are very closely attached to family members, while others do not have any familial ties. Others feel the need for affection when they are separated from those they love. The needs that people have for affection may be based on a need to be wanted, to be needed, or to be needed in a certain way. It can also be based on the desire to be understood, or the desire to be accepted as a special person.
One person’s understanding of love may differ from another person’s understanding of love. People may believe that true love is completely unconditional, while someone else may believe that it is conditional. Someone else may believe that love is simply showing another person that you care and that you will provide a certain type of safety and security. Someone else may believe that love is doing things for a person that you only expect them to do for you.
When experiencing romantic love, your mind has been created to focus only on the physical act, which causes you to be intensely focused on pleasing and attracting someone else to you. Consequently, you do not have time to dwell on the more intimate feelings, which you may believe are important or even vital to attracting the person of your dreams. Consequently, these other emotions are often suppressed, ignored or simply not recognized by the person involved. Your physical needs take priority over all other feelings. This may lead you to do things out of an emotional context that is inappropriate or even hurtful to yourself.
By learning how to activate the appropriate portions of your brain, you can turn your romantic love relationships into stronger and deeper ones. You can learn how to replace your suppression and aversion for these other feelings with feelings of attraction, appreciation, commitment and trust. You can learn how to release negative thoughts and feelings such as disappointment, jealousy and anger. You can learn how to release and identify your own emotional triggers, which in some cases might be as simple as being aware of the fact that you are attracted to someone before you have met them. Through effective coaching, you can release and transform negative emotional patterns in your brain and connect those patterns with your desires and goals.